SOCIAL COMMENTARY: Attention "Generation Y:" SECRETS TO HAPPINESS!

I found this the other day, initially gave it a passing glance ... and then that passing glance turned into a good, hard look at something that's been on my mind lately - why are the youth today so darn unhappy so much of the time? I gotta say, I think we're on to something here. Give it a shot...

Here's the link: http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

Here's the consolidated version (or at least what I got out of it):

-Generally, HAPPINESS = Reality - Expectations.
"When the reality of someone's life is better than they expected, they're happy; When the reality turns out to be worse than the expectations, they're unhappy."

-With a "smooth positive life experience," the baby boomers have generally raised their offspring with "a sense of optimism and unbounded possibility. ... Baby boomers all around the country and world told their Gen Y kids that they could be whatever they wanted to be, instilling the special protagonist identity deep within their psyches."

-The result of the above: Gen Y kids today (born late 70's - mid 90's) don't just want the American Dream that their parents felt like they mostly achieved and told their kids that they could have, too... no, they want to fulfill their Own Personal Dreams. They want not only economic security and/or prosperity, but they want (ideally) to fulfill their wildest desires as careers and hope that their parents were right, in that they will be prosperous. And special. And stand out. The problem being that not everyone can stand out. "Most people are not special - otherwise "special" wouldn't mean anything."

-"Paul Harvey, a University of New Hampshire professor... has researched this [phenomenon], finding out that Gen Y has "unrealistic expectations and a strong resistance to accepting negative feedback, ... an inflated view of oneself."

-"A great source of frustration for people with a strong sense of entitlement is unmet expectations. They often feel entitled to a level of respect and rewards that aren't in line with their actual ability and effort levels, and so they might not get the level of respect and rewards they are expecting."

-"They've been led to believe, perhaps through overzealous self-esteem building exercises in their youth, that they are somehow special but often lack any real justification for this belief."

-"Social media creates a world for [Gen Y] where ... what everyone else is doing is very out in the open ... most people present an inflated version of their own existence ... the people who chime in the most ... are usually those who are [doing the best] ... while struggling people tend not to broadcast their situation. This leaves [Gen Y] feeling, incorrectly, like everyone else is doing really well."

The article suggests three methods/ideals/focuses by/upon which Gen Y may essentially continue-on with a little less sadness about their own situations:

1. Stay ambitious; just dive in somewhere and let the details work themselves out.

2. Stop thinking that you're special; becoming special can happen with hard work over a period of time.

3. Ignore everyone else; envy is the enemy here, especially given how envious we can become when we see the crafted, censored, sometimes staged realities conveyed as 'identities' on social media.

NOW... I have a few propositions of my own for my fellow members of GEN Y, which is what all of this is leading-to...

SECRETS TO HAPPINESS!

That is, if you're feeling unfulfilled, or inadequate, or if you're a baby boomer with a son or daughter or niece or nephew or grandchild who's feeling unfulfilled, inadequate, or really let-down by the fact that the world doesn't necessarily see you/them as being as SPECIAL as you've/they've been led to believe that you/they are:


1. Be humble. Be intentionally humble. Stop thinking that you know best. It's possible that you don't, and it's better to keep an open mind entirely, that way you're not disappointed if you do, indeed, realize there's a better way than your current belief. The fact is, there are many different solutions to varying problems, and if you ask a room full of people what's best, you may get a room full of different answers. Your answer isn't necessarily the best one, even though you are inclined to think that it is. You have been conditioned (in order to build your confidence) to stand proudly behind your solutions, to be confident, to exude confidence, and not to back down. So much so, perhaps, that you're blind to the possibility that other solutions you haven't considered, or more importantly, that don't necessarily make sense to you, might be worth some extra consideration. Many folks in substance abuse recovery "self help" programs find long-term success (living sober and maintaining long-term active recovery from active substance abuse) by accepting and embracing a level of humility, and accepting that, if the program has worked for millions of others who perhaps didn't all entirely understand it, there's a good chance it will work even without a thorough understanding of exactly how it all works. One who keeps an open mind inasmuch as accepting that perhaps one's own understanding isn't necessarily the best one, or one's own way isn't necessarily the only way or the best way, will often find success and happiness through that open-mindedness that is achieved through deliberate humility.

2. Lend credence to the words of Sir Philip Anthony Hopkins: "My philosophy is... it's none of my business what people say of me, and think of me. I am what I am, and I do what I do. I expect nothing, and accept everything. And it makes life so much easier." Sounds extreme, but it's most helpful (at least to me) to just bear in mind and take in strides when the moments of doubt occur.

-Final Thoughts-

A big part of why this article resonated with me, the one that kicked-off this whole message of mine that you're reading, a message to GEN Y about finding happiness, is because of the proposed notion that expectations tend to be too high to be realistically satisfying.

Bottom line, if you ask me:
Keep GOALS high, and real EXPECTATIONS low.
Be open-minded, receptive, and don't pay anyone else too much mind.


||JDS||